Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Ode to an Artificial Christmas Tree

Well, the halls are all decked at my house… actually, the only thing that’s decked is the living room, but that’s okay. My family has a fake tree that we bought in 1998. I’d like to say we’re doing our part to save the environment, but really, it’s due to my husband’s strong, fiscally responsible streak, and his dislike of cleaning up dead pine needles. If it were up to me, we’d have a live tree every year.


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Here’s the tree before the branches are fully spread. Pitiful, isn’t it? And that strapping young man next to it is Billy, my excited 14-year-old. Doesn’t he look excited in the photo?


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketAnd here it is all decorated. Say it with me now… OOOOOH… AWWWWW. And check out the leaning Angel at the top... looks like she's had a wee bit too much egg nog!


And now I’d like to share a little ditty that I wrote the first year we owned the tree. If you feel like singing, it’s to the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree.”

Ode to an Artificial Tree

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
You’re fake and I can tell.
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
Because you have no smell.
But you were purchased by my spouse,
Because you don’t mess up the house.
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
You are the best they sell.

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
Your boughs are always green.
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
They have a plastic sheen.
No needles dropping on the floor,
No struggling with you through the door.
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
You’re even flame retardant.

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
They don’t come any finer.
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
‘Cause you were made in China.
And when the season is all through,
Back in the box goes you-know-who.
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
You can be unassembled.


Wishing you and yours a beautiful Christmas, whether your tree is real, plastic, or aluminum!

3 comments:

Kelly said...

Hahaha! Your poor ole angel, she must have dipped in the ole nog early indeed.

Can't believe Billy's height is approaching the same as the tree. Oh boy!

Can I share Ian's favorite version of "Oh Christmas Tree" with you?

(ahem.)

Oh coffee pot, oh coffee pot,
Your coffee is so yummy.
Oh coffee pot, oh coffee pot,
It's warm inside my tummy.
I plug you in, and fill you up,
Scoop the grinds, and pour a cup.
Oh coffee pot, oh coffee pot,
Your coffee is so yummy.

Jennifer AlLee said...

Please don't tell me that Ian's drinking coffee! Personally, I never developed a taste for the stuff, but I love the way it smells. Now Starbuck's hot chocolate. Say it with me now... Mmmmmmmmm!

MrGS said...

lol Great blog! I love the comments about the coffee pot carol. lol An artificial tree is definitely the way to go if you're looking for a hassle-less Christmas.