CFBA presents WINNING HIM WITHOUT WORDS by Lynn Donovan & Dineen Miller

This week, theChristian Fiction Blog Allianceis introducingWinning Him Without WordsRegal (February 15, 2011)byLynn Donovan & Dineen Miller


ABOUT THE AUTHORS

Lynn Donovan

Verse: John 15:5 Apart from Me you can do nothing.

Tagline: Challenging Women to Live in Truth


A passionate writer and speaker, Lynn is a woman who presents a compelling message to encourage women to thrive in their marriage. She speaks at events nationwide where she challenges the myths women believe about love, pointing them to life-changing freedom through a relationship with Jesus. She reveals the zany yet meaningful stories of marriage challenges, truths, and triumphs in her life and invites women to share her view from her front row seat to an amazing journey; life lived for Christ.
Married since 1992 to her best friend and biggest enthusiast, Mike, she lives in Temecula, California. They have a son and a daughter and a wacky dog named Peanut. She loves to laugh, enjoys a strong cup of coffee and Fantasy Football and not necessarily in that order.

She lives each day in awe of the grace of God in her ordinary life.

Dineen Miller

Verse: Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Tagline: Igniting the Soul


Dineen readily admits that one of the greatest lessons she’s learning about life is that there’s purpose in our trials. And it’s all about trusting God and putting our hope in Him. Her favorite stories will always be of the miracles God has wrought in the lives of her family.

Through this lens she also believes her years as a youth counselor, a Stephen Minister, a women’s ministry leader, and a small group leader have prepared her for God’s calling on her life—to write for and speak to those in mismatched marriages like hers.

In addition to writing for Spiritually Unequal Marriage, Dineen writes for Laced with Grace and various other fiction online magazines and newsletters. She’s also won several prestigious awards for her fiction, and her devotional writing has been featured in Our Journey and Christian Women Online Magazine.

Married for 23 years to a guy who keeps her young, she lives in the Bay Area with her husband, two precious daughters, and their dog Shasta, who no doubt is an angel in disguise.


ABOUT THE BOOK

Week after week, they sit in church . . . alone. They are the spiritually mismatched, those who are committed to a spouse who does not share their faith. Feeling abandoned by their spouse and forgotten by their church, they live out their faith in survival mode, guarding the spiritual flame yet never feeling free to share it. But God wants them to thrive—not just survive.

Winning Him Without Words presents 10 Christ centered keys to thriving in a spiritual mismatch. Readers are encouraged to commit to Christian community, to release their spouse to God’s capable hands, to find peace in their relationships with Christ and with their spouse, to continue their pursuit of a growing faith and to love their spouse with fresh enthusiasm. God wants every marriage to exude peace and love, and Winning Him Without Words empowers readers to create that environment in their homes and thrive as God works.







If you would like to read a sample chapter of Winning Him Without Words, go HERE.

Review of FEARLESS by Max Lucado

In his new book, Fearless, Max Lucado takes a look at the things that scare us: something bad happening to our kids, not being able to provide for our family, disappointing God, and the threats of terrorism, joblessness, and global calamity, just to name a few.
It's a scary world we live in. It's easy to become overwhelmed when presented with the challenges that surround us. But Fearless puts a new spin on the fear that sometimes threatens to consume us. Lucado says this in Chapter 1:

When fear shapes our lives, safety becomes our god. When safety becomes our god, we worship the risk-free life. Can the safety love do anything great? Can the risk-averse accomplish noble deeds? For God? For others? No. The fear-filled cannot love deeply. Love is risky. They cannot give to the poor. Benevolence has no guarantee of return. The fear-filled cannot dream wildly. What if their dreams sputter and fall from the sky? The worship of safety emasculates greatness. No wonder Jesus wages such a war against fear.

Whoa. Makes you look at fear in completely different way, doesn't it?

Frequent readers of Lucado know that he has a way with words unlike most other non-fiction authors. Fearless is no different. Weaving real-life examples with spiritual truths, Fearless gives us a glimpse of a loving God who is with us always, protecting us as He guides us through the minefield of life.

I'll leave you with one more snippet from Chapter 11: Caffeinated Life: Fear of What's Next.

God never sends you out alone. Are you on the eve of change? Do you find yourself looking into a new chapter? Is the foliage of your world showing signs of a new season? Heaven's message for you is clear: when everything else changes, God's presence never does. You journey in the company of the Holy spirit, who "will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you." (John 14:26 NLT)

In this video, Max talks about why he wrote Fearless





Check out The Fearless Times, where you can ask Max a question about what makes you fearful.

Allison Bottke on Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children

I’m thrilled to feature another non-fiction book today: Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents by the incredible Allison Bottke.

THE BIO

Writing from firsthand experience, Allison Bottke identifies the lies that kept her, and ultimately her adult son in bondage-and how she overcame them. Additional real life stories from other parents are woven through the text. Most important...six concrete steps to hope and healing are the key elements of this landmark book.

Addressing a worldwide epidemic, this important and compassionate new book from the creator of the successful God Allows U-Turns series will help parents and grandparents of the countless adult children who continue to make life painful for their loved ones.

A frequent guest on radio and TV programs around the country, the 700 Club featured her life story in what has become one of their highest rated programs ever, and she has appeared on the covers of such national magazines as Writer's Digest, BOND, The Christian Communicator, O.H. Magazine and others. With 23 non-fiction and fiction books published since 2001, Allison speaks and teaches at conferences around the country. Her column for baby boomer women, Boomer Babes Rock! appears monthly in Christian Women Online (CWO).

THE INTERVIEW

The book comes out of your own personal experience with your son. Please tell us about that.
ALLISON: For years I really thought I was helping my son. I wanted him to have the things I never had growing up. I love my son, and I didn’t want him to hurt—but sometimes pain is a natural result of the choices we make. For a long time I didn’t understand the part I was playing in the ongoing drama that had become my son’s life—I didn’t understand that I didn’t have to live in constant chaos and crisis because of his choices. When I chose to stop the insanity and start living a life of hope and healing my life changed. It’s a feeling I want other struggling parents and grandparents to experience. I want other parents to know that change is possible when we choose to stop the destructive cycle of enabling. And we can stop it. I know, because I’ve done it.

How can we determine whether we are helping versus enabling our children?
ALLISON: Helping is doing something for someone that he is not capable of doing himself.

Enabling is doing for someone things that he could and should be doing himself.

An enabler is a person who recognizes that a negative circumstance is occurring on a regular basis and yet continues to enable the person with the problem to persist with his detrimental behaviors. Simply, enabling creates an atmosphere in which our adult children can comfortably continue their unacceptable behavior.

You say the main problem with dysfunctional adult children isn’t the choice they make or don’t make – but something else entirely. If their choices aren’t the main problem, what is?
ALLISON: Our biggest problem isn’t about our adult child’s inability to wake up when their alarm clock rings, or their inability to keep a schedule, or their inability to hold down a job or pay their bills. It’s not about their drug use or alcohol addictions. It’s not about the mess they’re making of their life. The main problem is about the part we’re playing in stepping in to soften the blow of the consequences that come from the choices they make. The main problem is us. Instead of praying to God to stop the pain, remove the difficulty, or change the life of our adult child, we must rise up and pray for something entirely different. We must pray for the courage to look deep in our own heart and soul—pray for the strength to begin a journey that quite possibly may change our own life—and pray for the wisdom to make new choices in our own life

Why are you so passionate about reaching out to other parents?
ALLISON: Because I’ve been there—I still am in many ways. I’m a parent who has traveled this painful road of enabling. I understand what it feels like to have your heart break because of a choice our adult child has made.

That is the ultimate goal of Setting Boundaries?
ALLISON: While recognizing and identifying enabling issues must come before positive change can be made, it is the eventual peace and healing parents will feel as they gain power in their own lives that is the goal of this book. It’s a tough love book for coping with dysfunctional adult children, as well as getting our own lives back on track, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children empowers families by offering hope and healing through six S.A.N.I.T.Y. steps. I walk parents through a six step program to regaining control in their home, and in their life.

What are the six steps for hope and healing you refer to in Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children?
ALLISON: S.A.N.I.T.Y. Six Steps for Regaining a Healthy Relationship with Adult Children
S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of Money
A = Assemble a Support Group
N = Nip Excuses in the Bud
I = Implement Rules/Boundaries
T = Trust Your Instincts
Y = Yield Everything to the Higher Power of God (Surrender)

Tell us about the S.A.N.I.T.Y. Support Group Network you founded. How can people get involved?
ALLISON: The “A” step in S.A.N.I.T.Y. is to ASSEMBLE a support group. This is a vital component in being able to look at our situations more objectively. We have developed a powerful Companion Study Guide that can be read individually or in a group setting. This Companion Study Guide contains all the information you need to conduct a S.A.N.I.T.Y. Support group in your neighborhood or community. Visit our web site here to find out more: http://www.sanitysupport.com/blogtourguests.htm.

The S.A.N.I.T.Y. Support Group Network is a powerful resource to help parents and grandparents who have challenging adult children gain S.A.N.I.T.Y. in a world spinning
out of control. During the years I spent as an enabling parent there were no support groups available for me as a parent in pain. Although it’s a tremendously successful program, AA wasn’t quite right for me, and I attended a few Alanon meetings, but the kind of empowering strength I needed for my situation wasn’t available. I needed to hear from others who had walked in my shoes—I needed to hear what they were doing that worked. I needed people around me who would lovingly hold me accountable to my own choices as I experienced the journey of parenting and enabling a dysfunctional adult child. I needed an action plan to help me make changes in my life.

I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt as I was writing Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Child that a vital part of the outreach would be the development of an international support group network based on the six S.A.N.I.T.Y. steps I had developed.
We need a resource that can help us to set appropriate boundaries and get some S.A.N.I.TY. in our households, as well as assuring us that we are walking in God’s will. Following the steps outlined in Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Child is a start in addressing this issue. Attending, and/or facilitating a S.A.N.I.T.Y. Support Group in your community is the next vital step in gaining hope as you walk the often painful path to healing.

Where can my readers go for more information on your book and on the S.A.N.I.T.Y. ministry?
ALLISON: Everything you could possibly need is contained on our web site at: http://www.sanitysupport.com/blogtourguests.htm.

I encourage your readers to tell me what they think about Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Child. I really do want to hear reader feedback. They can reach me at: SettingBoundaries@SanitySupport.com. Please be sure to visit our web site at http://www.sanitysupport.com/blogtourguests.htm where they will find additional resources for helping them on their road to S.A.N.I.T.Y. Remember to tell a friend in need and help save a life!

JEN’S REVIEW

Allison Bottke is a gifted teacher, but that’s not all she brings to her latest book. She’s also a mom who’s been there. Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Child opens with a section titled “Why I Had to Write This Book” in which Bottke shares some of what she’s gone through with her own son. Full of insight and hope, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Child will encourage, support and equip you to deal with one of the hardest trials a parent can face: watching your adult child follow the wrong path and face the fact that you can’t fix it. Even if you don’t have adult children, I recommend picking up this book to give you some perspective, a glimpse of what you might need to watch for as your children grow.

Meet the Authors of SIMPLE LITTLE WORDS & Giveaway

I’m pleased to welcome Michelle Cox and John Perrodin, authors of the new book Simple Little Words: What You Say Can Change a Life. Let’s meet Michelle and John!

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

John Perrodin is Senior Editor for the Jerry B. Jenkins Christian Writers Guild. He has written three YA novels with Jerry in the Renegade Spirit series. For 12-plus years he worked at Focus on the Family and served as Special Assistant to Dr. James C. Dobson. He and his wife, Sue, live in Colorado Springs.



Michelle Cox is a speaker, co-author (with John Perrodin) of Simple Little Words: What You Say Can Change a Life, and the author of Mothers Who Made a Difference. She writes frequently for various publications at Focus on the Family, has written greeting card text, and recently taped as part of a DVD small group curriculum on parenting and marriage for Focus on the Family. She and her husband, Paul, live near Asheville, North Carolina.

THE INTERVIEW

JA: Simple Little Words: What You Say Can Change A Life is a collection of stories about the importance of words. Please tell us a bit about it.
JP: Simple Little Words shows the powerful impact that the words we say can have on others. Too often we think that brief connections with family and friends don’t matter. Truth is some of the most meaningful words we’ve ever heard began as mere oft-hand comments. That’s because we rarely stop to consider how the words we say – for good or ill – will be remembered, maybe even for a lifetime.

MC: Simple Little Words features poignant stories of lives that were touched or changed by words someone said to them. I love that the book contains something for everyone. We have powerful stories about teachers, caregivers, individuals with disabilities, parenting, marriage, the business world, singles, aging, and many more. A different story touches me each time I read the book.

JA: This book contains stories from (among others) author Karen Kingsbury, Focus on the Family President Jim Daly, movie producer Ken Wales, and Chick-fil-A founder and CEO Truett Cathy. What was the reaction when you began seeking contributions for this project?
MC: John and I submitted the proposal for this book and then waited over seven months before we heard the publisher was going to send us a contract. They wanted the book in six weeks—and we only had two stories! Our first thought was panic and then we prayed about it. Two days later, I called John and said, “If God sent us the contract, He will send us the stories.” Only a few people turned us down when we requested submissions. When all the stories were finally in place, I read from beginning to end, and I wept because I realized God’s vision had been so much bigger than ours had been.

JP: My first thought was: How will we do this? But I knew that working with Michelle would make a daunting task doable. Plus, we completely turned the project over to God. We asked Him to bring us the stories to include. I’m certain that’s why we got such a tremendous mix of contributors.

JA: This is probably like asking a mother to pick her favorite child, but do you have a favorite story? One that really speaks to you?
MC: That’s a tough one since I love all of them. Dr. Dennis Hensley’s “One Word Made All the Difference” always squeezes my heart. This story features one of his students and the way Sean’s life changed forever because of simple words Dennis wrote on his quiz paper.

JP: I love “Avery’s New Shoes.” This story is full of home-grown touches and child-like wisdom. As a reader, I learn along with the kids about whom the tale is told. But you’re right, picking out a “favorite” is nearly impossible. Each story is so different and each shines like a gem in its own right.

JA: Can you recall a specific moment when someone’s words changed your life?
MC: One of those moments is the reason this book exists. As a child from a dysfunctional home situation, I had no self-esteem and no self-confidence. On a class field trip one day, a classmate’s mom said, “You have the most beautiful green eyes I’ve ever seen.” To her they were ten simple little words, but to a child who needed to hear there was something of beauty about her, they were life changing.

JP: My life is filled with many such moments. I think about recently when I was feeling frustrated over the enormous task of working full-time and writing books “on the side.” My sweet wife, Sue, just said, “You’re going to make it.” That helped me see past the deadlines and the unwritten words to the point when I can put aside the current Hot Project – and move on to the next one!

JA: What do you hope people will take away with them when they finish reading Simple Little Words?
MC: That our words are powerful tools that can be used to wound and defeat or to inspire and encourage. And those words are often remembered for a lifetime. What simple little words do you need to say to someone who needs to hear them?

JP: I hope our readers will be swept away by the variety and strength of each story. I want them to forget the day-to-day hassles for a few moments and reflect upon how quickly life passes. That being the case, why do we so often make cutting remarks when we could offer a splash of praise instead? I sincerely believe that each of us can do better at encouraging others – and that the tips provided in Simple Little Words will help make that happen.

JA: What’s next for each of you in the writing arena?
MC: I just finished a 360-page cookbook as a gift to welcome my son’s new bride to our family. I’ll continue writing for Focus on the Family Magazine, and John and I will soon begin working on a study guide/workbook for a large evangelistic ministry. I have several projects under consideration at various publishing houses.

JP: I’m working on four books in The Trio Plus series from Thomas Nelson. The first two novels in this YA series for teen girls are Uncover Me and Surviving Me. They release in August 2008. The Trio Plus books are co-written by Susie Shellenberger, Editor of Focus on the Family’s Brio magazine.

JA: When you’re not writing, how do you like to spend your time?
MC: I love being with my family. Paul and I have three mischievous—and awesome—sons ranging in age from 23 to 31. They are responsible for all my gray hairs and nervous twitches—and they are the joy of my life. Our youngest son is getting married in May so we are busy with wedding preparations. My husband and I work with the singles at our church and we love our 70+ “adapted” kids. From the time I was a little girl, reading has been my favorite hobby. Is anything any better than the crisp pages of a new book? I even read junk mail! Go figure.

JP: I love being with my family. My wife, Sue, and I are blessed with seven wonderful children ranging in age from 2 to 18. We enjoy singing, hiking, reading, walking, talking, playing games, and generally goofing around together. And Michelle and I enjoy getting out the word out about Simple Little Words in our spare time as well!

JA: Other than each other, who are some of your favorite authors?
MC: John’s young adult books in The Renegade Spirit series (with Jerry B. Jenkins) brought out the big kid in me. I love anything by Francine Rivers and Karen Kingbsury. And I’m at the store waiting when a new Brandilyn Collins, Dee Henderson, or Steven James suspense novel releases. I have tons of wonderful author friends and I enjoy all of their books.

JP: Michelle’s book, Mothers Who Made a Difference, is both beautiful and touching. I know your readers will enjoy it. I also find read biographies and recently finished the fascinating volume Steve & Me by Terri Irwin. I love reading George MacDonald and Henry Van Dyke. (Everything they wrote.) I consider Margaret Mitchell’s Gone With the Wind an all-time favorite. Jane Stanton Hitchcock’s Social Crimes and Edith Wharton’s Age of Innocence are riveting novels of manners and morals. Ted Dekker’s Circle Trilogy is a classic that my older children also find deeply moving.

JA: Last but not least, how can people keep up with your latest publishing news?
JP: We would love to have friends visit us at www.SimpleLittleWords.com. There they’ll find a wealth of fun, and yes – simple ways to make life a bit easier. We have simple little recipes, simple little cleaning tips, simple little writing hints, etc. You get the idea. I’d also enjoy having visitors on www.JohnPerrodin.com, my “official” author website.

MC: After you visit www.SimpleLittleWords.com and www.JohnPerrodin.com, click on over and visit me at www.MichelleCoxInspirations.com.

Thank you, Michelle and John, and continued blessings to both of you in your writing journeys!

WIN THE BOOK

If you’d like to be entered to win a copy of Simple Little Words: What You Say Can Change a Life just leave a reply to this blog. I’ll combine the responses of my Blogger and ShoutLife blogs to pick a winner at random on April 8th. Please leave an email address so I can contact you if you're the winner. (To prevent spammers from trolling for your email, please use this format with the brackets--you [at] yourmail [dot] com--or something similar.) ShoutLifers will be contacted via ShoutMail. Good luck!