Letting Go . . .
I wanted a dad who would be my mentor and my friend. Someone I could lean on and go to for advice. Someone who desired to meet me for lunch and listen to the goings on in my life with a proud smile and adoration in his eye.
I didn’t know I wanted this until I reached adulthood. Up to then, I thought my life was normal. Like most people’s.
But then I went to college and realized that normal was relative to . . . well, to whomever you were speaking.
Some dads were involved and some weren’t. I’d never thought much about the fact that my dad worked long hours and didn’t speak more than a few words when he was home. He didn’t inquire about our lives or come to our childhood events, unless it was with a bored look and longsuffering sigh.
I knew I was loved. On the surface, anyway. Those three words seem to echo without a place to land when they are spoken without the investment of time or sacrifice.
But it left me with a longing for more. To find somewhere I could get those deep needs for love and connection met. Because of that desire, I went down painful roads and made choices that left scars rippling across my life.
My father made his own choices that broke up our family. It wasn’t until much later that I heard a woman speaking and what she said moved into my heart in a way that brought immense revelation.
This woman said, “Parental love is like a hot fudge sundae. Everyone is designed to have it, but not everyone gets it. You’ll never be free if you focus on what you should have had. The people who gain freedom are the ones who can accept that even though they’re never going to get that sundae, they can have a bowl of ice cream and maybe some nuts on top or whipped cream.”
I realized that for years I’d been looking for someone or something to fill that void. The void of my father’s lost love. The love I should have had.
When she spoke those words, it felt like a missing puzzle piece settled into place. Freedom came with acceptance. I could let the dream go and begin looking forward to what I did have.
And I have a lot.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sherri Sand is a wife and mother of four young children who keep her scrambling to stay ahead of the spilled milk. When she needs stress relief from wearing all the hats required to clothe, feed and ferry her rambunctious brood, you may find her sitting in a quiet corner of a bistro reading a book (surrounded by chocolate), or running on one of the many trails near her home. Sherri is a member of The Writer’s View and American Christian Fiction Writers. She finds the most joy in writing when the characters take on a life of their own and she becomes the recorder of their stories. She holds a degree in psychology from the University of Oregon where she graduated cum laude. Sherri and her family live in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.
ABOUT THE BOOK - Leave It To Chance
Single mom of three, Sierra Montgomery is desperate to find a new job to keep from having to move back home and be smothered to death by her mother’s good intentions and overbearing love. So when Sierra inherits Chance, a quirky old gelding she doesn’t have a clue what to do with, she thinks her best bet may be to sell the horse to cover another month’s rent—a decision that devastates her children.
Enter Ross Morgan, a handsome landscaper who just happens to have an empty barn and fenced pasture… perfect for an old horse to live out his days as the pet of three wounded kids. Ross develops a soft spot for eldest child Braden…and he just might have one for Braden’s mother. But what he doesn’t have is time for distractions—he’s got a landscaping business to run and nursery plants to tend.
But Sierra has a secret. She’s terrified of horses and—thanks to her past—wary of attractive men. Yet seeing the way her angry son idolizes Ross and adores that old horse forces Sierra to confront her fears. Will she remain distrustful and self-reliant, or will she seek help from God and those who love her?
WIN THE BOOK
If you’d like to be entered to win a copy of Leave it to Chance just leave a reply to this blog. I’ll pick a winner at random on December 28th. Please leave an email address so I can contact you if you're the winner. (To prevent spammers from trolling for your email, please use this format with the brackets--you [at] yourmail [dot] com--or something similar.) Good luck!